


Fairytales and Fatigues

by Tay144



Category: The L Word
Genre: AU, F/F, Gen, warning for drug and heavy alcohol use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-21 20:33:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14292897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tay144/pseuds/Tay144
Summary: Tasha has just returned from another tour of duty and is welcomed home by her lovely fiancee, Alice. It is like picking up right where they left off and they decide to take Tasha's break as an opportunity to plan the wedding but when Tasha is hit with feelings of PTSD she begins to distance herself and finding adjusting to civilian life harder than she thought, she turns to drugs.





	1. Welcome Home, Soldier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a new story that I'm working on. Should start off by saying that the basic plot and characters do not belong to me, however, certain elements that I've added to the story do, I guess in a way. This story is a bit AU. Main characters will pop up but Tasha and Alice met in high school and were best friends before hooking up. Also, they don't argue as much as they did in the show XD.
> 
> Just a note to all, this story will include alcohol and drug use. So please read at your own risk. Also, I am not sure where I plan on taking this story and it may or may not end the way some people think or want. I guess it really depends on the feedback I get from my readers.
> 
> I plan to make this story as angsty as I can, but trust me I love fluffy, mushy feelings so anyway on with the story. Also if anyone is willing to beta read this for me that would GREAT.
> 
> *A/N Edit: I posted the first two chapters of this fic a year ago on Fanfic.net. I hadn't updated since then, however, I am hoping to now so I'll be posting it here and over on my account there too.
> 
> This ship doesn't get much love but tbh it's my favorite and I really wanted to write for them so I hope that changes with this fic.
> 
> Also let me know how you guys feel about smut, it may or may be added, but either way it doesnt matter to me.

Alice's shaky hands held up a large white sign with the words "Welcome Home Captain Williams." painted across the front in red. The tall woman holding up the sign stood, waiting impatiently, alone in the middle of the airport, her whole body buzzing with a combination of happiness, fear, and a little bit of uncertainty. No matter how she felt on the inside, nothing was going to make the large smile that was gracing her face disappear.

The news she had received over the telephone earlier in the week led to this moment. A moment, if she was being completely honest with herself, she wasn't sure was ever going to happen. Especially since this was Tasha's longest tour with her first couple tours lasting only 2 years.

Her fiancée was finally coming home. It had been almost 4 years since they'd seen each other in person since they'd felt each other's touch since they'd heard each other's voice that wasn't impaired by a lousy phone signal.

In an instant, emotions hit Alice like a boulder and she had to take a few deep breaths to calm herself. This was really happening. The one person she had truly been in love with her entire life was going to be right in front of her in less than 5 minutes. Suddenly worried about her looks, Alice smoothed out the front of the white blouse she was wearing. Deciding to skip her more sophisticated look today, instead, she opted for something a bit more casual with a pair of tight black jeans to go with her top and dark heels that pulled the look together. Of course, she was going to look her absolute best for her baby, even if as soon as they were home, Tasha would rip off those lovely clothes anyway.

Hearing the commotion of a new group of people entering the airport, the blonde woman snapped her head up, her eyes searching the line of people as they exited the long hallway that leads to the plane. It didn't take long before she saw the one face she'd longed to see. The impossibly wide smile stretched even further across her face. An image of a cliché scene popped into her head and honestly, she could see why it had been done so many times in film because she would be lying if she said she didn't feel the sudden urge to run toward her lover and fling herself into the soldier's arms.

Instead, Alice kept her composure, allowing her soldier to come to her, whose smile was just as big as hers. A dark-skinned woman dressed in fatigues nearly knocked down a group of small children as she pushed past to get to her fiancée. And once she'd made it in front of the journalist, her large bags slipped from her hands, landing on the ground with a rather loud thump. However, the sound went unnoticed by the two women as they stared at each other; taking in sights they hadn't seen in years. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Tasha leaned forward and wrapped her strong arms tightly around Alice's waist. She stepped closer until she was mere inches from the other woman, and took a breath before she allowed their lips to meet in a passionate kiss.

Immediately the world around them crumbled and fell away and nothing else in that moment mattered but the two of them. Alice pulled Tasha closer, clutching onto the front of her uniform tightly as they kissed. Their lips moved together in a semi-frantic way, reconnecting in an all too familiar dance and crowded with soft tongues and teeth.

A few moments later the sound of chit-chatting people and loud clomping feet brought the two out of their little world, however, they didn't pull away from each other completely. Alice kept her tight hold on Tasha's uniform shirt and their foreheads nearly touched as they stood close together. Finally, Alice was able to speak, "Please...please don't ever leave me again." It was a silly request, Tasha could never promise her something like that but she still demanded it. Even if she knew it was unrealistic.

Tasha chuckled softly, a few tears now rolling down her face. "I'm here. I'm here now and that's what matters." She responded, reassuring her fiancée as best as she could. She placed another kiss on Alice's lips. This time a lot slower and softer. Her way of savoring the moment. Committing this all to memory. Just in case.

Alice pulled away, her own tears now spilling down her face. Reluctantly she released her death grip on Tasha's shirt. She smiled lightly, smoothing out the crumpled material. "Oh dear, I'm so sorry. I've crinkled your uniform." She laughed, "And then I cried on it."

The dark soldier smiled, thumbing away a stray teardrop that lingered on Alice's cheek. "It's perfectly fine." She whispered.

The two women had ultimately decided that going home would be best. Tasha was tired from her travels and she was not up for being around a lot of people right now. She'd much rather go home and do some well needed catching up with her fiancée.

Alice turned her attention to Tasha once they'd reached the car and placed the soldier's bags safely in the trunk. She grinned, still trying to convince herself that all of this was real. The soldier looked back, a half-smile gracing her face in return. After a few moments had passed the blonde grasped Tasha's hand in her own. She brought it up to her lips to place a soft kiss on the back of it.

She turned, straightening herself, buckling her seatbelt and starting the car before driving off. Her favorite artist, Sam Smith played lightly in the background, drawing the two woman into a comfortable silence.

The song that was currently playing, Safe With Me, brought up some things for the young woman that had been playing on her mind. Alice wasn't oblivious to the fact that when some soldiers came home, they did with problems. PTSD, depression, suicidal thoughts and physical injury, while Tasha didn't look physically hurt, at least not from what she could see. She couldn't help but wonder about her soldier's mental state.

Her fiancée hadn't really spoken much about her thoughts and feelings while they were Skyping. Most nights the dark-skinned woman kept it really simple and she never disclosed any deep details about what she was experiencing. The blonde would push, but she was always met with an "I'm doing fine, love." or a "Don't worry so much about me." She would let it go, not wanting to upset her lover when she had other and more important things to focus on but that didn't cease her ruminations. And as if on cue, her worry set in and she started to nibble on her bottom lip, eyes focused on the road but her mind thinking of the quiet woman sitting next to her. Was she really ready to face the possible effects the war had left on Tasha? Was Tasha?

"so I was thinking maybe we could have some people over tomorrow, welcome you home. Everyone misses you around The Planet, Tash." Alice proposed. Tasha was silent for a few more moments, her brows knitting as she thought. "I'm not sure if I ready for that just yet. Maybe after I've settled in a few more days, yeah?" Her voice was a bit soft, she didn't want to hurt Alice's feelings but she was really wasn't up for seeing anyone anytime soon. She just needed to be with her fiance, feeling connected and safe again. Alice glanced over at her soldier, she knew Tasha was more of a homebody but she also knew how much she loved their friends and her unwillingness to see them as soon as possible didn't sit well with Alice but she tried her best not to pry. "Sure, Tash. Whatever you want."

Once the two woman arrived home they immediately made their way inside, the soldier sighed loudly, finally able to feel comfort and safety, she dropped her bags near the door to be put up later. "Did you want something to eat?" Alice asked, making her way toward the kitchen. Tasha followed close behind but her mind was far away from the thoughts of food. She needed to feel Alice in a way that she hadn't in years. Before the blonde could get out her next question she was being turned and pinned against the marble island in the middle of the kitchen. She quickly welcomed the actions, knowing exactly where things were going to go and she most definitely did not have a single problem with it.


	2. Goodbyes and Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnd chapter 2!

_Early April 2008_

Tasha waits for Alice to arrive back home in their shared small apartment. Her heart is racing faster than it might have ever. It feels like it would beat right out of her chest, her stomach is in her throat and she swallows thickly in vain. Clutched tightly in her right hand is her written orders. She had been accepted into the military after her required physical and evaluation and there written in bold ink was the letters that spelled out to her leaving in a month for camp.

She sighed, dropping her head in her palm.  _"Fuck."_  She hadn't told Alice that she had even signed up. Everything that she had done the past few weeks in preparation was kept from Alice because she knew that her girlfriend wouldn't like one bit of it. The blonde was vehemently against the military and its meanings, she always had been so Tasha knew that telling the love of her life that she had joined was not going to end well. Tasha wasn't sure how Alice would react and the different scenarios that ran through her head only made it that much worse. Okay, now she was starting to feel sick. The raven-haired woman got up, deciding that pacing the living room floor might make her feel better.  _It didn't._

The door quickly opened, Alice who had been in class all morning and afternoon was beat. She wanted nothing more than to be able to cuddle into bed with her girlfriend and watch a movie before drifting off to dream world. "Hey baby," She greeted upon walking into the living room, however after noticing the look on Tasha's face she paused. It was a serious look, one that she knew meant business, one that told her that her night of rest might not end up being that at all. "What's wrong?" She questioned in a soft tone. Tasha looked over at Alice, her nerves kicking up into overdrive. "Um. I have something to tell you and I know you're not going to like it." At that Alice knitted her brows together, looking down to see the now crumpled paper that her girlfriend was holding onto tightly. "...What?" She hesitantly asked.

The soldier-to-be cleared her throat and scratched her forehead. "Alice, I...I-I joined the military. I had my physical and evaluation and I've been cleared. I'm set to ship out to the base in late May." She looked up, giving Alice a chance to process and speak if she wished. The blonde only blinked. Tasha stared back at her girlfriend for a few moments and she instantly knew she was in trouble. "I'm sorry that I kept this a secret from you. I knew you would try to stop me and I-I couldn't let you do that." Alice only blinked once more and Tasha sighed. "Al, please say something."

A few seconds passed, dread quickly beginning to loom over the two. Alice dropped her gaze, tears had begun to well up in her eyes and she knew if she didn't control herself things were going to get ugly very fast. "I-is this your way of b-breaking up with me or something, because I-I mean you could have just come out and said it, you-you didn't have to-to do that. I know that we've been together for a while now and I understand that you need y-." Tasha quickly cut her off, "Wait, wait, whoa, break up with you? Alice that's not what I'm doing here. I joined the military. I did."

The tears broke free at that moment, there was no controlling them, no way of keeping Tasha from seeing them. The fell down her cheeks her light mascara beginning to run. "Why, then? Why would you do this to me?" She sniffed, looking back up at her girlfriend. Tasha almost broke in that moment, she hated seeing the blonde cry and it hurt her, even more, to know that she was the cause of it. She sighed, the pacing starting up again. "I-I'm not doing anything to you, Al. This is something that I decided was best for me, for  _us_."

"For  ** _US_**? Are you fucking kidding me? How could you going overseas and risking your life benefit us in any kind of way?" Alice's temper was starting to rise and so was her voice. "Baby, please, listen to me. You know that this College thing isn't and wasn't ever going to be for me. I can't do it and before I become some moocher who's living off her girlfriend and working dead-end jobs I am going to use any other option that I have. You know that my family are military people, it was bound to happen, Al and you know it. My father is ecstatic, can you just be happy for me? Please? I'm going to be doing something meaningful with my life."

" _Happy?_ " The blonde scoffed bitterly. "I'm supposed to be happy about having to give up my life with my girlfriend? That instead of getting to come home to her in the evenings, I get to come home to an empty apartment and worry? Alone. By myself. Worry whether or not she's safe that day, worry about whether or not I'll ever see her again and if she does happen to come home to me, in what shape?" By this point she was sobbing, her heart slowly breaking. "I don't think I can do that, Tash. I'm not that strong enough for this."

The raven-haired woman stepped closer to her girlfriend desperately wanting to console her and ease the pain. "Listen, you're plenty strong and I'm going to be okay." Alice opened her mouth to voice something but was quickly cut off by Tasha. "I'm going to come back home to you, no matter what. I'm making that promise to you right now." It was the most absurd thing she could ever promise, she knew it was something that would be completely and totally out of her control but she also knew that it was what Alice needed to hear in that moment. "If it makes you feel any better, I'm not going to be totally on my own. Shane decided to join as well and with some luck, we'll be able to do this together. We promised to take care of each other out there. It's going to be okay." Tasha thumbed away a tear. "We are going to be okay." She added, hoping Alice caught into the double meaning.

"Ho-how will I know you're okay? Will I get to hear from you?" She wasn't okay with this, not in the least little bit but what was one was done. She knew Tasha couldn't turn back now and even making a request such as that would be considered selfish on her end. So instead of fighting against a losing battle, she chose at that moment that she would try to come to terms with it and deal with things the best way she could.

Tasha nodded. "We have phones, the reception will be horrible out there but they are usable to some extent. There is the old-fashioned snail mail and we have access to some personal computers. We will be able to keep in touch in some form and I'll be able to keep you updated on everything, albeit slowly but it is better than nothing, right?" She smiled sadly. It wasn't the best but at least it was something. Fresh tears sprang from Alice's puffy red eyes and the sight broke Tasha too, her own eyes filling with tears that stung. That night she held Alice in her arms as they both prepared themselves for the long, unsure journey they were sure to face.


	3. Goodbyes and Beginnings Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 is here! It is a continuation of the flashback that was Chapter 2. It's a few days later.

_Early April 2008_

Alice didn't sleep at all the previous night. She tossed and turned the whole time and the moment she thought she'd finally be able to drift off to sleep she'd see flashes of some war zone coverage that she had been watching on the news lately. She found herself watching so much of the coverage lately. It was quickly becoming a toxic habit but she just had to learn as much as she could about the place her girlfriend was heading to. Most times Tasha would come home and try to distract the blonde from it but other times when the soldier was away at training Alice would spend her whole night with her eyes glued to the television. 

So here she was. Wide awake. How could she sleep when in just a few hours her girlfriend; the woman she's been in love with almost all of her life was about to leave to go fight in one of the most dangerous places in the world. Not only that but her best friend, Shane was leaving as well. It was almost too much to handle. She was worried and terrified that she would never see Tasha or Shane again. Or that when she did they would be in a body bag. Alice shook that terrible thought from her head many times that night. All she could do to quell her bad thoughts was to snuggle herself against her girlfriend's chest as they laid in bed. Alice took close note of the way Tasha's slow but steady heart would beat against her chest, the soft intakes and exhales of breaths, even to the light snore the dark-skinned woman would let out every so often. She mentally saved the feeling of safeness and happiness she felt simply by being in the strong yet feminine arms of her lover. She knew that it was going to be some time before they'd be able to lay in each other's arms like this again and it scared her to her core. 

Alice had already lost a friend of hers some years back. Alice and Dana had been best friends since first grade. The two had been through everything together. Dana was someone Alice knew she could always turn to no matter what. Alice had revealed things about herself and personal life to Dana, things that she hadn't even told her mother. The connection the two shared was beyond comparison. It sounds weird and crazy when she tells the story but Alice remembers the moment Dana died. The exact moment Dana was in the car accident that took her life. She knew her best friend was gone before anyone could break the news to her. It was like a knife to the heart. It was like a piece of her died right along with Dana. Alice was never able to find the same connection with anyone, not even Shane. And while the two were close it was nothing compared to what she had with Dana; that was until she met Tasha.

So as anyone could see, she as afraid of letting Tasha and Shane go off to a place where they would be putting their lives at risk 24/7. She told Tasha and herself that she would try to come to terms with things, it wasn't going over so well. While she was able to bite her tongue and keep the peace between them about the whole situation, Alice often times fought within herself. Going back and forth between wanting to support her girlfriend's decision to being vehemently against the decision. However, the blonde kept quiet, choosing to suffer in silence. Which was how she found herself in her current situation: wide awake, eyes red and watery with tears threating to spill out with just a few hours before her girlfriend had to leave. 

Soon night turned into day, and to be honest Alice hadn't even noticed. She wouldn't be able to think about it for long because the alarm clock was going off and her lover was stirring. The blonde couldn't help the pathetic whimper that she released as her girlfriend got up to get ready for the day ahead. The two women didn't talk to each other much as Tasha packed her things. Most of the time Alice just tried to stay out of the soldier's way, she could tell Tasha was going through her own mental things; preparing her own self for the journey ahead. Only commenting here and there about the articles of clothing the soldier was going to take. 

The drive to the airport was probably even quieter, neither woman said a word, they only held hands with a few solemn glances exchanged between them. Alice told herself throughout the whole drive there that she was not going to break down before Tasha left. How she was going to act once her girlfriend had boarded the plane was another thing, however, she was NOT going to break down, she could not break down before Tasha left... _Yeah, that didn't go so well._

As soon as they realized it was time for them to part Alice broke down. The tears that had been threatening to spill all night came streaming down her face and she couldn't hide the pain on her face. They decided that it would be best for them to part at the car; didn't want to get too messy in front of a coward. _Y'know just in case._    

Alice has Tasha's top in a vice grip, she's wrinkling it but she honestly doesn't care because she's not ready to let her go. "I love you." Her voice cracks pitifully as the words slip from her lips and it makes Tasha's resolve break and before she can stop herself her own tears are flowing down her face. A full minute passes by before the raven-haired woman is confident enough in herself to allow herself to talk without her voice quivering. A few stolen kisses made up for the lapse of course.  

"I love you more." Came a quiet response, a swift reassuring kiss following close behind. "To the stars and back," She finished. "I'm going to call as soon as I can."

"Promise?" Alice asked, her voice impossibly small. She had placed her head against the soldier's chest, an action she was rarely able to do while they were standing considering their slight height difference. However Tasha's combat boots and Alice's lack of heels today made it possible for this moment.

"I promise." Tasha swallowed. She herself wasn't sure when exactly that was going to be. Could be tomorrow, could be in a few days. She knew the road ahead was going to be tough for the both of them. They were both going to be facing their own hardships, separately, which was the most terrifying part. The thought of not being able to come home to her love at the end of the night was something that scared her. Luckily she was going to have Shane with her, otherwise, she knew she wasn't going to make it through.

Tasha took a quick glance down at her wristwatch, they had about 10 minutes before it was time for them to part. _It was now or never._  She took a deep breath. "Alice, will you marry me?"

There was a long pause and Tasha wasn't sure if she had even asked the question out loud. Then after another beat, Alice responded a bit taken aback, "What?" The blonde pulled away from the embrace of her girlfriend so that she could look at her face to face. 

"Will you marry me?" Tasha fished the engagement ring from her pocket as she kneeled in front of the blonde woman, "Alice, I know things are not going to be easy from here but the sheer fact that you are here and willing to stick by my side through it all makes me love you more than I ever thought possible. I know _promise_ is an incredibly difficult word for us considering but this is my promise to you at least for now that I'm coming back, that I'm going to fight every day to make sure I come back to you in one piece, because I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Yes," Alice answered calmly. An almost strange calm washed over her. The future was unclear and scary but the idea of spending it with the kneeling woman made everything else seem small.

With that, a few happy tears were shed and soft lingering kisses were exchanged before the raven-haired woman was off on her way and was Alice off in the opposite direction.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg the last few chapters took 84 years I'm so sorry guys. This chapter is kinda crap I feel but I really wanted to get it out to you guys so I hope its alright. Anyway, Enjoy! Feel free to leave any and all feedback.


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